Monday, February 11, 2008

A griefer's manifesto - FOR THE LULZ!!

I am sure you have all seen the slanderous campaign of the Second Life blogosphere about griefing in the recent weeks. Spurred by the excellent Julian Dibbel article, a host of Second Life users have been asserting that griefing in Second Life can cause real world problems. Such claims cannot go unopposed. Hence this manifesto.


1. We're only joking!

Some Second Life users say that we are interfering with the grid. Well, Pah! says we. Why, the sim crashing is nothing but a fun game. How dare the sim owners object? The ever-so-funny self-replicating cubes (funny texture optional) are a simple jest. We are joking! Come on, lighten up! Nothing here is real, so who are you to claim one state of irreality is better than the other?

2. It's just a game!

Some of the "victims" - I use quotes because nobody can be a victim for hearing a joke or participating in one - say that we interrupt business meetings. A business meeting?? In a *game*? Come on, what's next - meetings over a game of Scrabulous? Corporate take-overs of WoW characters? Everyone knows that business is only done in real world with real things - and on-line only when trigger-happy corporations like Ebay* or Microsoft* are involved.

(*The names Ebay and Microsoft are trademarked by their respective owners. No claim as to anything regarding these two fine examples of corporate America is meant or implied. Please, Ebay and Microsoft lawyers, do not come after me in my basement - lulz and Ron Paul posters are all I have)

3. We decide how the game is played!

Some Second Life users dare claim that we are interrupting their fun. Yeah right, like giant snail races or discussions of RL and SL issues could possibly be *fun*. It's all a game - who are you to tell us how to play it? It is WE who decide how the game is played. And it's simple, so just get it into your heads: our objective is to annoy you. For the lulz. And your purpose is to be annoyed! Now, see - isn't Second Life fun? LULZ!

4. Griefing is not a crime!

There are still some that say that griefing is a crime. A crime?! What is a crime, anyway? And who is to decide what falls under that category? Show us a law that prohibits animated penises. And who could even set up such a law? The users of Second Life are simply too distributed and the courts too detached and expensive for anyone to prosecute. Therefore, there is no crime in Second Life.

5. Suck it up!

We understand that there will always be some users that just cannot comprehend the simple fun of griefing. Like a baby without a rattle, they will continue to wail and shake their tiny fists. Well, from the goodness of our hearts, here is how to deal with griefing (or "having a bit of harmless fun", as is the preferred term). It is quite simple: DO NOTHING. After some hours, days or months, the LULZ will be gone and you will be able to continue your "business" or "fun". Trying to fight us will just make the LULZ longer. You cannot win. Patiently wait and eventually, you might get your Second Life back.
I graciously thank Lordfly Digeridoo for inspiring me to write this manifesto.